Shad's Essay

Rashad Young

English 9

Mr. Salsich

29 April 2009

Kindness:

An Essay about a Poem, Story and My Life

1 It is lingering around every corner waiting to infect someone. 2 Kindness is like a virus spreading jubilation (SAT) from person to person and injecting happiness into their lives. 3 There are many moments of happiness in these exceptional pieces of literature: Winter’s Dreams, Kindness and even my own life. 4 Kindness can take any shape or malformation and when you finally meet it, it’s a smack in the face.

TS There are many moments in my life when I have experienced kindness. SD These moments have not lasted forever but were very worthwhile and had me wanting more. CM These moments are -like Tim from FCD told us- a natural high for me and make me feel like I'm on top of the world (Appositive). CM These short periods of time are like comic strips, short but sweet. SD I, while around friends, continue to feel kindness. (Loose Sentence) CM Even when something has gone horribly wrong their kindness kicks in and brightens up my whole day. CM Whenever I am not feeling happy my friends are there to help make me smile and look for a way to brighten things up. CS Kindness is like a virus constantly infecting different people as it passes through on its ongoing voyage.

TS The kindness has passed by many including even Naomi Shihab Nye. SD In the poem "Kindness" Mrs. Nye states that,"[It is] only kindness that ties your shoes. CM "Tying your shoes is one of the simplest acts that people do in everyday life and by implementing kindness into this means that it could accumulate into more serious decisions in life. CM She could also mean that using kindness could help someone else get up and tie his or her own shoes. SD "How desolate the landscape can be between the regions of kindness. CM "When we are not showing our kindness towards it is also lacking the happiness that comes from kindness and therefore brings out the emptiness of our lives. CM Without kindness the world would be empty, it would be barren, it would be boring and it would be grey. CS Kindness drives people to commit into other wonderful things in life as Mrs. Nye has stated.

SD In the book "The Garden Party" there are a few signs of kindness, which are mainly shown in Dexter. CM Dexter says, "There was something in me," here he seems to be talking about the kindness that was once part of his everyday life but was now gone since he had become mature. CM He had now lost the kindness that he had shown to not only Judy but also even shown Irene. SD Though he never says it out loud Dexter also empathized (SAT) his kindness towards Irene when describing her. CM "Irene was long haired, sweet and honorable." CM Though he may not have noticed it at the time he was in love with this woman and would say all of the kind words to her that she wanted to hear. CS Though Dexter lost this sense of feeling he seems to have maybe even a tiny bit of it in the end of the book; therefore showing that kindness can come and go.

1 Kindness is as contagious as the common cold but it can also be spread through things such as books and even poems. 2 Naomi Shihab Nye and F. Scott Fitzgerald show this as they pass on their own kindness with their own words. 3 As this virus travels around it can leave a permanent effect on people that causes them to spread it even after it leaves. 4 The kindness in Dexter’s heart continues, the kindness in Mrs. Nye’s Heart continues, the kindness in my heart continues and the kindness in your heart should continue. (Tetracolon Climax)

Self-Assessment

Something that I am continuing to work on is removing unnecessary words. I have improved on this by taking some words out when writing and also while reading my friends’ essays. Some strong points I see in this essay are the general flow of it. It flows together nicely and also my opening and closing paragraphs all point back to each other. One thing I could have spent a little more time on is my special tools. Instead of adding them during the polishing night, I could have had my friends comment on them. I think my grade would be around a b-.