gabe's essay

Gabriel Campbell

Mr. Salsich

English B

5/13/09

 

            Life itself is filled with pros and cons. Something could transform to better the world or simply make it worse. Life can even relate to a garden stone. Overall, the ambiguous (fast) passages by Rainer Maria Rilke can relate to the garden stone in our classroom and my own life.

            One passage in the writings of Rainer Maria Rilke that stood out to me was “good is transformation and […] [it] is bad as well.” This quote could mean that with all bad things, good follows. For example, if a close one was dying of an illness, their death would be the good that follows because they would be out of their misery. While it may be depressing, it is comforting to know they aren’t in pain. Similarly, this quote could mean that while transforming is wonderful, bad can come out of it. For example, some one could “transforms” into a hard working person whose work brings them wealth. The bad about this transformation could be that with this new-found wealth, the person could become more selfish and greedy. Overall, the passage  “good is transformation and […] [it] is bad as well” was one of many ambiguous passages that caught my attention while reading the writings of Rainer Maria Rilke.

            While reading the passages by Rilke, it occurred to me that the line “the world happened […] within […] his center” could relate to the garden stone in our classroom. For starters, this garden stone has experienced all of the natural elements. It has experienced rain, snow, hail, and wind (tetracolan climax). Essentially, the garden stone has experienced the ways of earth. Similarly, while it cannot hear, see, or feel (appositive), it has endured (fast) the weight of us. It has stood firm day after day, tolerating us walking back and forth (participle). In essence, we are the world, and the stone has experienced us. To summarize, the passage “the world happened […] within […] his center” can be easily related to the garden stone in our classroom.

            The quote “good is transformation and […] [it] is bad as well” from the Rilke passage can be related to my life. In my life, there have been transformations that have turned out well. For example, me becoming more responsible with my work. Instead of going home and procrastinating until late hours, I have gotten my homework out of the way immediately. Unfortunately, there have not-so-good transformations. With my growing age, I have become more disagreeable with my parents. I dearly love my parents, but I often get into pointless arguments with them. To summarize, the quote “good is transformation and […] [it] is bad as well” is an example of my transformation during life.

            My whole life has consisted of transforming. The smallest changes have had an important impact (antithesis), for example growing older and maturing. Some things could have also been overlooked, like a garden stone. Similarly, the passages by Rainer Maria Rilke could be applied to my life as well as the garden stone in our classroom.

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Self Assessment:

I have been working on making my concluding sentences better. I am also trying to use apt transitions. Some strong points I see in this essay are my use of the special tools. I thought i used them correctly and they enhanced the writing. Some weak points I see are definitely my concluding sentences. Some are good but others are boring. I would give myself an 82-84 on this essay because I feel I met the requirements of the essay.