Shad's Post

Have you ever been transformed? If so, was it similar to that of a rock being cut into tiny stones to be placed into a garden? Rainer Maria Rilke speaks about undergoing (FAST) transformation in many different ways. My life, a simple stone, and the meaning of this passage are all parts of the different ways I have transformed.

In the first part of the passage Rilke talks about transformation, we transform our lives everyday when we make decisions that do not seem significant (FAST). Rilke seems to be talking about how in life everyone goes through changes so maybe life is just one large scale transformation. Though the little good things you do in your life everyday may not be very important they still change you. The bad things that you do everyday also change you. The more large scale mistakes and acts of kindness have transformed you in a bigger way than you could think of. You can and will become a different person if you continue to make these small decisions that shape our worlds. However, it is up to you how how they will be shaped, good, bad or neutral. It is your choice and your choice only.

Shaping your life is similar to shaping a rock. Old and grey, the garden stone in Mr. Salsich's room has been "transformed" throughout time.(Appositive Sentence Opener) Millions of years ago that rock could have been formed, it could have even been a boulder at one point. Who knows what could have happened to the stone: other rocks colliding with it, people sitting on it, moved in an ice age or even cut by a mason. Being shaped by a mason is very different than nature, in terms of tool. The transformation from a normal into a beautiful masterpiece is very complex, precision cutting, shaping, and piecing, and presenting the rocks together are all factors that affect the outcome of this rock.(Tetracolon Climax Verbial) Just like us the transformation can be a long and painful process but in the end we come out even more beautiful than before. No doubt the garden stone on Mr. Salsich's desk does not get the credit it deserves for all of the things its been through therefore we should recognize that the stone is no different than ourselves.

We transform almost exactly like the stone itself but, the only thing that is different is the tools that shape us. The first way I was transformed was when I was introduced to Pine Point School. Here at Pine Point I have been shaped by the wonderful teachers and core values that surround the school itself. From the first day I set foot in Pine Point I had felt that I was different, my mind being tethered to my now caring heart.(Participial Phrase Closer)Second, I have had to go through my parents separation for the past two years. It has been a hard road from switching back and forth to my dads house and my moms house. Although, it has made me a better person knowing that I survived something that can be one of the hardest challenges for a family. Just like the garden stone the transformation may become long and painful but the outcome is what is worth the strain.

We all go through our lives transforming frequently, from the cells in our bodies, to the people around us. If we do not have the correct appearance or skill for a particular task we can change ourselves to "fit the boot". Sometimes it can be hard for us to survive these transformations but they are usually worth the hardships and rejection.

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Self Assessment

Recently I have been trying to improve on making my opening and closing paragraphs more grabbing. Another thing I am trying to do is use my requirements in the correct locations. Some strong points in this essay is the umbrella that does not seem to stray too far off of the main point. I see some weak points with my second body paragraph and trying to get it to "flow" with the rest of the essay. I would probably give myself a C+/B- for this essay.